“I teach best what I most need to learn AND PRACTICE myself.”

The teaching part is easy. The practice part? Not so much.

This post is me practicing PUBLICLY. It’s also me being counter-cultural. Which means it might challenge you and/or inspire you. In truth, I hope it does.

Last weekend I had a blinding flash of the obvious. Only, of course, it wasn’t obvious to me until I saw it.

For YEARS, I have repeatedly said…

“Social media is NOT my primary love language. It’s not even my secondary love language!”

Nonetheless, I knew it played an important role in growing my business, my network and my impact. As well as for nurturing relationships.

I’ve been on Facebook for nearly 15 years (!). I’ve been CONSISTENTLY showing up on Facebook for the past 5-7 years – primarily via my FB biz page. But the changes in the FB algorithm have lessened the reach and impact of the stuff I was posting.

So early last year, I began to more actively use LinkedIn. Last Fall, I joined Instagram – a platform lots of people I know are using. And one, I was told, I would LOVE!

I didn’t.

Social media is not my primary love language!

Did you hear that?

“Social media is not my primary love language.”

I hope so – because this past weekend I realized that I wasn’t HEARING myself! I was completely ignoring and denying the truth I had been declaring for years. I wasn’t honoring who I am and where I’m at.

And it set off a firestorm within me. I asked myself…

If social media is not my primary love language, then why the heck am I spending so much time, energy and money on it? And why the heck have I been trying to do MORE (not less) social media?

The answer was immediate.

FOMO strikes again.

The Fear Of Missing Out. That if I don’t do “this” thing, I’m going to miss out on something I want and/or need. For me, it was “if I don’t do LinkedIn and Instagram, people won’t know about my work. I won’t get clients. I won’t get “enough” clients. And then I won’t have the income I want and need.”

FOMO, my friend, is just another form of scarcity. Which means I’m not walking my talk.

After all, my entire body of work is based on a new definition of abundance. One where abundance is not a function of quantity – of doing or having MORE or LOTS.

Yet what have I been trying to do? MORE social media (both in number of posts and the number of platforms). Thinking that MORE would give me the “MORE” I wanted in terms of clients and income.

It’s a LIE, my friend!

Why is it a lie? Because true abundance comes from knowing that we are part of something bigger than us. Something bigger than what we can see. Something bigger than what we can MAKE happen by ourselves. It comes from trusting this – and trusting in the Ultimate Source of Abundance that I call God.

All of my efforts – doing MORE (not less!) on social media – was me not trusting in that something bigger. That’s what FOMO is. It’s not trusting in Divine provision and in Divine timing.

I’ve actually been hiding on social media….

Another thing I teach is that “hiding blocks the flow.” And yet SO MUCH of what I had been doing (or trying to do) on social media was really different types of hiding.

  • Hiding by pretending to be something I’m not. It was me pretending to be more successful than I am. To be more engaged (on social media) than I am. To have my act more together than is true.
  • Hiding by creating a “pretend presence” on social media – especially LinkedIn and Instagram. My posts were scheduled in advance – by someone OTHER than me. Most of the suggestions for content came from someone else that I then edited to sound like me. As for “posting and then ghosting?” I’ve been the poster child of that pattern. 😞
  • Hiding by spreading myself (and my time, energy and money) in too many places. Being “busy” and doing LOTS is a “badge of honor” in our world today. Yet by trying to do ALL these things and trying to be in so many places – I didn’t FULLY show up in any of them. When I did show up, it was a “diluted” version of myself. And THAT, my friend, is the antithesis of abundance.

Remember that thing I’ve been saying for years? About social media NOT being my primary love language? And yet, because of FOMO, I was trying to pretend it was.

Going deeper, this past weekend I finally admitted that social media has not been “social” for me in a long time. My being on social media was no longer about connection, relationship or being of service. (Especially on Linked In and Instagram.) It wasn’t about having something to share or GIVE. It was because there was something I wanted (or needed) to GET.

It had become SALES media. So much of what I was posting – and WHY I was posting it – was to generate sales. It had become about promoting ME, my business and my message.

Now… there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with doing so. Except for that FOMO part I’ve already mentioned. Remember, FOMO is scarcity.

All of this (and more) is what came to me this past weekend in a blinding flash of the not-so-obvious…that’s now obvious to me.

I’m DONE trying to make social media my primary love language.

Effective immediately, I will no longer PRETEND to engage on either LinkedIn or Instagram.  Same thing with my Facebook business page. I’m not going to close any of them. I’m simply going to tell the truth.
If you want to connect with me online, here’s where you can do so.

And if you choose to connect or engage with me in any of those places, you’ll REALLY get ME!  Not a “phoned-in” version of me.  Not a ghost who disappears right after posting.  But a REAL, LIVE person interacting and sharing herself (and her business) honestly, authentically, openly, passionately.

I’ve re-labeled “social media” so that it IS one of my love languages.

Now, the SM for “social media” stands for “Sharing Me” in ways that just might support YOU too.  So it could also stand for “Service Media” or “Support Media”.

And THAT is my primary love language.

I look forward to seeing you, supporting you and showing up as me – for you – on one or more of those platforms!

XO
T.

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