As I was sitting outside last Saturday enjoying a glorious sunny morning, I was overwhelmed by a profound sense of gratitude. And I don’t mean the normal type of gratitude. I mean feeling grateful in every cell of my being. In truth, it’s a relatively new experience for me.
For more of my life than I’d like to admit, I have only seen what I do NOT have. I have only seen what I am NOT. And then I have spent most of my life trying to achieve or get what I don’t have and be what I think I’m not.
Bottom line, I have spent most of my life focused on trying to solve and then fix all of the my “not enoughs”.
Not enough money, for sure. Not enough success or accomplishment or achievements. Not having enough friends or a nice enough house. The list goes on and on. 📝📝📝
Bottom line, I’ve spent most of my life trying to fix and or hide the “not enough” I thought was true about me. 😢💔
And in the midst of all of that conscious and subconscious “not enoughing” …
In the midst of all all of my chasing and striving and pursuing the elusive experience of “enough”…
Let’s just say that I didn’t experience much gratitude. 🤪 Let alone the depth of gratitude I felt last Saturday. In truth, gratitude isn’t even possible when we are only focused on what we don’t have. And that what we do have is “not enough”.
And that’s what made my experience on Saturday such a GIFT! I’m at a point in my life where I’m facing some challenges and have some scarcity that needs to be resolved. And to resolve those problems, I may have to do some things I don’t want to do. Things that are uncomfortable and that will challenge me.
Add to that the fact that we still live in a 160-year-old farmhouse with a sinking backend. With trim that needs to be scraped and repainted before winter. With a garden that is completely overwhelmed with weeds. The list could go on and on. Truly, it could easily overwhelm me
Again, this is what made my experience on Saturday such a GIFT – even miracle!
It was not self-induced or self-created gratitude. I can’t pinpoint the exact cause of such profound gratitude. It was simply a GIFT that I cannot explain and can only savor. In so many ways, I did NOTHING to experience it.
Except, perhaps, for the knowing and trusting that I have developed over the past five years that I am part of Something so much bigger than me and what I can see. So much bigger than my individual efforts, problems, and challenges. So much bigger than my individual life.
I used to think (and teach) that I needed to CHANGE my focus whenever I was experiencing scarcity. To focus on abundance instead. But that sets up an either/or dichotomy that doesn’t really work. Now I know that it’s not about focusing on the “positive” and avoiding the “negative”.
Rather, it’s about dropping the judgment that labels some things positive and other things negative. It’s about E-X-P-A-N-D-I-N-G my focus to embrace the whole. To embrace it all.
Because when I do, as I experienced Saturday morning, I realize that I am living IN abundance. It is all around me. It is within me.
This was my experience last Saturday morning. This is what elicited the deep sense of gratitude I felt in my body, heart and soul. And with it, a deeper level of relaxation, trust and peace. All of which empowers me to take action to address the challenges and problems in my life right now. Which I am doing. 👍
I firmly believe that this is the experience that’s available to all of us when we learn how to see Life and ourselves differently. If we learn how to e-x-p-a-n-d our focus. If we learn to trust that we’re part of Something Bigger than us. And something that is inherently loving.
This is my wish for you today. This profound and deep sense of gratitude and abundance no matter what’s happening in your life right now. 🙏🙏🙏
It’s been a long time coming for me – which added to my sense of gratitude on Saturday. ❤️❤️❤️
Truth be told, that experience of gratitude has come and gone throughout the week. I know it’s not something I can “hold onto” or recreate through mental manipulations or effort. It’s only something I can practice remembering. It’s only something I can OPEN myself to experience as the gift it is amidst so many gifts. 🎁🎁🎁
It is also what I will be supporting the participants of my Fall retreats to do and experience. So if you know anyone who lives within driving distance of Saint Paul or Madison, will you please share the information with them??
You can find all the details here>>>>Living in Abundance Retreat
And if you live in the vicinity, I hope you’ll join us! 🤞🤞🤞🤞
No matter where you live or how you came to be on my mailing list, my friend, know that I am grateful for you!
With MUCH love~
XO
T.