If you’re like me, you’ve probably heard – even believed – that it’s better to give than to receive. I disagree.

To think that it’s better to give than to receive is the same as saying that it’s better to exhale than to inhale.  But you can’t have one without the other. 

Nikky has always loved to give.  She’s been generous to a fault – meaning it’s often been at the expense of her own health and well-being.  Especially her financial well-being. 

When we were working together in my Soul Work of Money™ program, she began to recognize this. Not to mention how often her giving was motivated by not wanting to disappoint people and look good. Plus, she thought she was SUPPOSED to give. This awareness empowered her to make better, more honest choices about who she gave to – and what she gave. But the shifts she made about giving PALED in comparison to the seismic shift she began to experience with RECEIVING. 


In fact, the IDEA of receiving – let alone actually doing it – had Nikky turn green at the gills. It brought up all sorts of limiting beliefs…

“I don’t deserve it.” 
“If I take (receive) this from them, then they’ll expect me to pay them back.” 
“Receiving help means I’m weak. It’s admitting I’m not in control.” 
“Receiving makes me feel vulnerable.  I don’t like to be dependent on others.” 
“I don’t want to take something away from someone else.  Other people need this more than me.” 
“I feel guilty receiving help.  I should be able to handle things myself.”

These are just some of the beliefs that had kept Nikky from receiving. They kept her from receiving support, help, love and simple things like a free lunch for most of her life.  They had limited the amount of “oxygen” she was inhaling. 

Any chance you can relate to any of them, my friend?

Again, Nikky believed it was better to give than to receive.  What she DIDN’T realize was that giving gave her a sense of importance and value.  It was one of her subconscious strategies for proving her worth. 

Nikky needed to realize that she could NEVER “prove” her worth.   She could only ACCEPT it.  In doing so, she opened herself to being able to more freely and fully accept blessings and gifts.

Because the truth is, the INHALE comes first.  The first thing we do when we are born is to inhale.  We RECEIVE the gift of life (and our inherent worth) with our very first breath.  Until we inhale, there is no exhale.

And so it is with giving and receiving.  One of the profound realizations Nikky had working with me is that whatever we have to give is FIRST a gift we RECEIVED.  The movement of Life and Abundance begins with RECEIVING gift. 

The day Greg blew out his knee, both Nikky and Greg began a “crash course” on receiving.   And their experience transformed the way they felt about giving.  Gone were the “shoulds” and the “have tos” and the “looking goods”. 

About a week after Nikky first shared their story on Facebook, she wrote another post about this transformation.  

Here’s an excerpt…


When I posted about our current situation, I was nervous that people would see us as vulnerable or needy which was not my intention. Since then we have received so many well wishes, prayers and gifts that we were not expecting (and will be eternally grateful for) causing me to feel vulnerable and needy.

Thankfully I’ve been working diligently for the past year on my faith with Teresa Romain who has taught me that in order to give, you have to be willing to receive. 

[I’d add: You have to realize you HAVE received.]

I’ve heard this multiple times throughout our work together but didn’t really grasp what that meant until now. Here’s what clicked….

When we received the first gift, I asked Greg how he was feeling and he said he just had an overwhelming desire to go out and help everyone we can. Receiving kindness from others sparked a desire to give that had not been particularly active beforehand (especially since we don’t have much and wanted to protect what little we have).

Obviously, we’re not in a place to help anyone monetarily but we can use whatever we do have available (skills, excess things, time) to help others in need. We will be on the lookout for moments/opportunities to pay it forward however we can because when one comes, it will feel amazing to share the joy and gratitude that we have felt.


THAT, my friend, is how the Flow of Abundance works.  It’s a microcosm of The Divine Archetype of Abundance that is the original blueprint for life!


We don’t “make” or “earn” or “deserve” the life-giving resource called oxygen.  We DO participate in the ongoing availability of life-giving resources for all. 

First, by opening to RECEIVE them as GIFT.  And in response to unearned gift, we give in return.

Inhale AND exhale.  Chicken AND egg.  Receiving AND giving.  An infinite cycle of abundance. 

FYI – It’s a good thing they’d begun to practice OPENING themselves to receive. Little did they know that the biggest miracle of all was about to happen.  And with it, Nikky’s understanding and experience of God (and herself) would be transformed.

In Part 5 I’ll share their story of a mailbox full of CASH!